he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize