You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
