The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
