So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
