Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
