Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Come share oat with me in your robe
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
