how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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