Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
