There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
