Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
