Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just cut my nipple shaving
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
