you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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