I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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