she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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