Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
