his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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