Moan for me like Helen Keller
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
