dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
