DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
