I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
