wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
