and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
