If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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