I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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