...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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