You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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