so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
