thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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