I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize