how can u be prego again
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize