I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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