he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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