drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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