wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
