That's intense
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
