I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize