Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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