nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
