So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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