she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
