Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
