So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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