Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
