Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
