May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize