why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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