i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
