Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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