i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
