We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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