if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
literally had 100 drinks last night.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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