when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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