If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
