I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
