I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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