At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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