I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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