I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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