Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
