I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
