hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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