the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize