mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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