Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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