I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
