i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
