he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
