office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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