your thong is hanging out like whoa
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
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tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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